Skip to main content

Declaration of Independence, circa 2000.

Plagiarized from the original by Thomas Jefferson, July 4 1776
By Benny Pollak In New York, November 2000 (After the so-called election of Georges W. Bush as the 43rd President)

WHEN in the Course of a Presidential Election, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with their corrupt leaders, and to assume among the Powers of This Country, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of the United States Constitution entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of the viewers of CNN around the World requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.
WE hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Politicians are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator, and their Wealthy Ancestry, with certain unalienable Traits, that among these are Arrogance, Self-righteousness and the Pursuit of Power -- That to secure these Traits, Political Parties are instituted among them, deriving their illegal Monies from the Pockets of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of their Ends, they believe it is their Right to alter or to reorganize it, and to institute new Legislation, laying its Foundation on such Unscrupulousness, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Tenure in Office and Ego. Incumbency, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established cannot be changed for light and not-obviously criminal Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that an uneducated citizenry, is more disposed to suffer in ignorance, while Evils are barely sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they have been brain-washed to endure.
But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security. Such has been the patient Sufferance of the people of these United States; and such is now the Necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The History of the present form of Government, as perpetuated by the entrenched Political structure, is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over the People. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid Nation; screw the World.
WE, therefore, this Group of Patriotic Citizens of these United States, in GENERAL CONGRESS over the Internet, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World for the Rectitude of our Intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, solemnly Publish and Declare, That the People are, and of Right ought to be, FREE AND INDEPENDENT INDIVUDUALS; that they are absolved from all Allegiance to the Washington establishment and their respective Local, County and State Governments, and that all political Connection between them and the Corrupt Political Establishment, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as FREE AND INDEPENDENT PEOPLE, they have full Power to live their lives as they see fit, keep their hard-earned money, smoke marihuana and consume any substances they please, establish commercial and other agreements with whom they please, and to do all other Acts 
and Things which FREE PEOPLE may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of our constitutionally guaranteed right to bear arms, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, Whatever Fortune we can Keep from the Internal Revenue Service, and our sacred Honor.


Popular posts from this blog

Climate change

Okay, the debate is over, I think it has finally become apparent that the consensus in the scientific community is that climate change not only is happening but it is most likely caused by human activity. The question is, what can we do now? I believe the short answer is: nothing. If indeed this is really a problem there is very little we can do now that will make a difference in the foreseeable future. The effects of climate change will not be immediate but gradual. When environmental problems occur and governments can realistically do something about them within a reasonable amount of time, as was the case with the London fog emergency in 1952, they do. In cases like that, it was very clear what needed to be done and there was a marked improvement in the situation in a very short time. The case of global warming is very different. First of all, it is not very clear what can be done. Yes, cutting down on carbon dioxide emissions may eventually improve things, but we

Where I Get My Ethics from Part I: The 10 Commandments

Being an atheist, I am constantly being asked the question of where I get my ethics from. My answer is very simple: t he same place most people get them from, various sources, the 10 Commandments for example. As is the case with everybody, I cherry pick only the ones I agree with. Let's take a look at this, here's the text: I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery: This isn't really a command I guess but either way I don't think I agree with it, haven't seen any evidence. You shall have no other gods before me: I have never had the need to but I'm actually OK with this one. Since I don't believe in any god, this one is fine with me. You shall not make for yourself an image, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Not that I would ever want to do this but I think it conflicts with the first amendment to the