Declaration of Independence, circa 2000.

Plagiarized from the original by Thomas Jefferson, July 4 1776

By Benny Pollak In New York, November 2000 (After the so-called election of Georges W. Bush as the 43rd President)

WHEN in the Course of a Presidential Election, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with their corrupt leaders, and to assume among the Powers of This Country, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of the United States Constitution entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of the viewers of CNN around the World requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.

WE hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Politicians are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator, and their Wealthy Ancestry, with certain unalienable Traits, that among these are Arrogance, Self-righteousness and the Pursuit of Power -- That to secure these Traits, Political Parties are instituted among them, deriving their illegal Monies from the Pockets of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of their Ends, they believe it is their Right to alter or to reorganize it, and to institute new Legislation, laying its Foundation on such Unscrupulousness, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Tenure in Office and Ego. Incumbency, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established cannot be changed for light and not-obviously criminal Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that an uneducated citizenry, is more disposed to suffer in ignorance, while Evils are barely sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they have been brain-washed to endure.

But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security. Such has been the patient Sufferance of the people of these United States; and such is now the Necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The History of the present form of Government, as perpetuated by the entrenched Political structure, is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over the People. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid Nation; screw the World.

WE, therefore, this Group of Patriotic Citizens of these United States, in GENERAL CONGRESS over the Internet, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World for the Rectitude of our Intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, solemnly Publish and Declare, That the People are, and of Right ought to be, FREE AND INDEPENDENT INDIVUDUALS; that they are absolved from all Allegiance to the Washington establishment and their respective Local, County and State Governments, and that all political Connection between them and the Corrupt Political Establishment, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as FREE AND INDEPENDENT PEOPLE, they have full Power to live their lives as they see fit, keep their hard-earned money, smoke marihuana and consume any substances they please, establish commercial and other agreements with whom they please, and to do all other Acts 

and Things which FREE PEOPLE may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of our constitutionally guaranteed right to bear arms, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, Whatever Fortune we can Keep from the Internal Revenue Service, and our sacred Honor.